The Takedown

_{There are things we crave so much we consume it in known and unknown ways. What is your obsession? Don’t know? Let me tell you, these are our Cultural Obsessions #2.}

There is an outrageous lawsuit brought against the Grammy Award winning artist Lizzo. Allegations of ugly things. I don’t mean outrageous in the sense of impossible. I mean outrageous in the true sense of the word – scandalous, shocking, and OMG what? I don’t personally follow Lizzo, she is not on my playlist, but I do bop my head to some of her songs when they come on the radio. She is being accused of being a bully, after coming to stardom in part by calling out bullies.

She says these are disgruntled former employees who want their revenge for being terminated for unprofessional and disrespectful behaviour on tour. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how it all plays out. This story isn’t really about Lizzo, it’s about what happens when bad behaviour runs amok and goes unchecked.

So what makes a toxic cultures?

Bad behaviour is like a infection

We all know people or have friends who perform certain problematic behaviour, but we say nothing and let them get away with it because it’s easier than correcting them and then having to deal with an aftermath of even more bad behaviour and the volatility of their mouth. The problem with this is it almost always ends up having a secondary impact. Bad behaviour never stops at the person behaving poorly, it bleeds out like the infected wound it is, and always end up hurting other people. Eventually someone will call out the bad behaviour and the antagonist will be so enraged at the audacity to confront them because they’ve grown accustomed to getting their way.

No one likes abuse.

Mixing business with pleasure

Blurred lines create spaces where employees begrudgingly go along with your lifestyle and shenanigans to get their paycheque, until they can no longer go along to get along. In the reverse, friends tend to be over familiar in work settings. Professionalism is lacking and performance becomes partial to the mood of the day. Work is work, friendship is friendship. The two can overlap only when each space is respected for what it is, clearly defined and upheld to the agreements made.

Failure to do this is a death knell.

Lack of value system

Integrity isn’t morality, it’s the alignment of thoughts, words and actions. When we are not operating in integrity there will always be some kind of misalignment in how we express ourselves and/or who we surround ourselves with. It’s tough though to know what people are about right off the bat… that’s why you need a clear value system, so that you are aligning to the values laid out, not to a singular personality. Pay attention and remember, jealousy can hide in compliments, envy can hide in support and hate can hide in love. So just because people are giving it to you, doesn’t mean they really have it for you.

Words can lie, energy doesn’t.

The next question is why do we let toxic cultures fester? Maybe because we weren’t taught how properly nurture healthy safe spaces? Maybe we weren’t taught how to identify harm so we keep laughing off things that are actually hurtful. Maybe because we have a cultural obsession with “let someone else deal with it”… a general unbotherdness until it becomes a sensationalized media story and we become invested in the takedown.

The takedown I define as a pop-up event where someone’s power is challenged by others who feel either threatened by it or abused by it (perceived or real).

For some reason as much as we love watching the underdog, we like to watch the takedown too.

For you to ponder…. do you nip things in the bud or nest in unbotheredness? Do you glorify dysfunction because it feels safe and familiar? Are you prepared for the fallout after you take a stand?

‘til next Sunday!

Z.

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