Pumpkin Spice Season

Autumn is the season between Summer and Winter. Meaning that between the hot and the cold is this space of … crispiness. That’s what October is, a crispy month. Not crunchy, but crispy.

The air is crisp as the humidity has thinned out but the arctic winds haven’t fully found their path downwards yet. Food is spicier, fuller, well seasoned. Lattes are creamier with dashes of cinnamon.

It’s nicer, to me anyways, to have the space to unfurl between the two seasonal extremes.

Have you ever noticed that Autumn is the time that you begin to slow your pace? That you begin to release things that haven’t been working out all year? That you just start letting go because “there’s only 12 more work weeks in the year… 10 if you count holidays… so let’s just make it to the end”.

It’s because Autumn is Fall. Figuratively and literally, we start to let things fall away. We create space for ourselves. Although this maybe is spaciousness by way of defeatism. Giving up because we no longer want to manage the chaos.

Thus, spaciousness is the thing I have been pondering significantly. About what it means to give a subject room to exist beyond the trappings of your own selfish desires. About how the subject can exist without distraction. About breathability and movement. About communicating expansiveness and the exquisiteness of being.

Spaciousness says a lot without saying much at all.

When there is confusion, spaciousness will bring clarity.

Clarity is crispy.

The art of finding spaciousness in a chronically busy life.

It is a contract of our culture that if we are busy then we are clearly being productive. If we are being productive then our value is intact, and once we feel validated in this way we start to manipulate our happenings with one simple sentence “I’m just too busy to do that”. Sometimes this is legitimate but mostly, we say this to others when we don’t want to be accountable and want to get off the hook. We’ve all done it.

The thing is busyness is actually an identity. To sustain being a busy person with too many things to do, you have to keep finding things to fill the space and upkeep the busyness. It’s a perpetual loop that leads to burnout. Not to mention, pseudo busyness doesn’t cultivate the skills to manage actual busyness and chaos when they arrive at your doorstep.

Chronic busyness is a story.

Not having enough time is a story.

Inability to commit is a story.

Be honest, you don’t want to do the things you use the busy excuse for… and that’s perfectly okay. Spaciousness is okay. In fact, I think it’s a life skill.

It’s skillful to know what is the priority and what is not serving you.

Personally I’ve found myself with information overload, decision fatigue, responsibility burnout. And the only cure has been spaciousness. Space to reorient the way I experience myself as myself to the full depths of being human. I can honestly say, there’s a lot that I could be doing, but that doesn’t mean I want to or it serves me.

It really is more about creating spaciousness than finding it. It’s not simply a concept but a direct experience of reality. A conscious choice to pause, get out of the mind and drop into the body. A deliberate choosing of what to participate in and with, and when to click the opt-out button.

There is space for chaos if you honour the pause. Chaos (unlike busyness) is not ongoing. It comes, and it goes. Chaos is usually external, it is coming from the outside. Busyness is internal, it is coming from the mind.

Chaos cannot last forever, and perhaps is even a perfect distraction to the busyness of your mind, giving you an opportunity for relief and spaciousness.

The root of the word chaos comes from Old French and means “gaping void” or from Latin and Greek, “abyss which gapes wide open, is vast and empty.”

Chaos is space.

The very chaos you seek to run from, manage, control and/or cower to actually houses the spaciousness you seek from the tension of busyness you warped yourself into.

A practical invitation to cultivate spaciousness.

1/ Honour the pause – can you take time to do nothing, or simply step away temporarily until you feel ready to return? Where is there chatter that tells you otherwise?

2/ Drop into your body – are you able to bring your awareness to the sensation of your breath? And then to feel the smoothness of your skin, and the location of every joint? At the most geriatric pace, place your attention on each of your limbs, one at a time, notice its weight, texture, temperature, and when you are complete arise slowly to the quietness of your mind.

3/ Radical honesty – with yourself and with others, can you truly say “I don’t want to do that”. Arrest your guilt, what is the worst that can happen? Likely, the other person will just find another helper. And if this is a solo exhibition… if you can’t bring yourself to do something you’ve forever been saying you’ll do… can you just accept that it’s not your priority?

Remember…

Spaciousness gives rise to discernment. Discernment gives clarity. Clarity is crispy.

It’s October…. what will you allow this season to reveal to you? Have yourself a pumpkin spice latte, and then sit in space until the crispiness of clarity arrives.

with love,
Zoya

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